he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
