Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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