Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
