i wish my penis had a tongue
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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