We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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