all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize