Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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