It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize