Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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