Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
