I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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