8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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