A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
