Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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