dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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