He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
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too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
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Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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