Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
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I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
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Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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