there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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