Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize