I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize