So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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