Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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