Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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