maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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