My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
