Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
