I wanna passion pit in your ass
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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