Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
