If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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