Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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