Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
false alarm, still single
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