There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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