You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
