Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
