dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
