Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
