Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
