There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
