Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
