Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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