It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
