Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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