Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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