The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
