Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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