What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
