good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize