I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
