lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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