I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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