I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
