3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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