we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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