Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
