I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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