Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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