its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
