I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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