I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Non-Jews are for practice
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
then he tried to convert me to islam
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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