I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Even the bartender felt bad for me
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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